daddyfuckedme:

wouldn’t it be cool if jellyfish floated around in air instead of water but they didn’t sting you instead they gave you little kisses and rubbed your forehead with their tentacles

mistressfeferi:

hopelessbaka:

at least gravity is attracted to me

horribleawfulcunt:

niamliveslarryloves:

basedgosh:

i hate one direction fans so much
i need my whole room to cool down but no this damn thing only blows one way

I literally had to read that 5 times…

oh my god

heartcramp:

Look, if you nicely tell me that swearing makes you uncomfortable and you politely ask me not to, I will stop immediately and speak nicer than a nun.

But if you start acting like you’re on some fucking high horse, or telling me that I’m going to Hell for talking the way that I do and you can’t “be around that kind of language” then you can bet your motherfuckin’ ass that I’ll be fucking cussing like a cunt-fuckin’ sailor you maggot-ridden piece of dick.

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

show a man tumblr and he will laugh for a second. teach a man to use tumblr and watch him spiral into insanity

nointerrruption:

I LITERALLY DO 8 SECONDS OF WORK THEN REWARD MYSELF WITH 40 MINUTES OF TUMBLR LIKE CAN I STOP DOING THAT

diamondtwink:

My life is kind of like when you’re about to sneeze and then don’t

ohmypheels:

everyone is like “omg tumblr should delete blogs that have been inactive for 2+ years” but i dont think they should

just imagine in 10 years time, in the back of your mind you remember tumblr, you open it up and you’re still logged in and you get to look at your blog and remember all this.

now imagine if you went back to see your old blog of your teenage years and it had been deleted because somebody ‘wanted your url’

how sad would that be